To the editor:
As reward for my boorish behavior, including but not limited to my poor sportsmanship (refusing to view the first half of the Super Bowl because of the absence of my beloved Pats), I not only missed the alleged lip-syncing but, more importantly, the commercial that has everyone talking.
Oh, I'd heard bits and pieces. It had something to do with a trainer with the Budweiser Clydesdales team, having trouble teaching his animal affection? Or a big/fabulous feat? Or something about" big feet" anyway.
So when I heard the players were coming to the neighborhood, I crossed the Rubicon (two blocks away) where, heck, maybe I'd get a glimpse of this fellowthis rock star, named "Hope" who was causing all the rumpus. Besides, who can resist free bread and circuses? Certainly not my neighbors!
And a fun, circus atmosphere it was indeed. I immediately took up a perfect, high, unobstructed viewing position on the west side of Santini Marina Plaza. Of course, the three trucks arrived and parked smack in front of me. My retreat to the eastern side placed me five or six rows from the action, but fortunately closer to two of my favorite bars. When I returned to the scene the crowd had grown considerably. I could plainly see eight beautiful horses heads above the crowd? And as for fabulous feats? (Certainly these eight massive, powerful animals pulling a child's cart couldn't be it? Or could it?) And as for their feet? You'll have to ask the people rows and rows in front of me. Well, that's the way it goes.
With my head down, I hit the sidewalk south and that was when it happened. Out of the cab of the first parked van, the Dalmatian burst out by straining the leash and pulling his trainer off balance. He or she charged up..startling me. I'd heard, though very intelligent, this breed from far away Croatia can be ornery, mean and definitely not friendly. I can now report this is not true! When I offered my hand, thought the drivers, the cops, the trainers, the eight pulling horses, the entire gaping crowd, the show would have to wait for it was affectionately licked. People were looking over now and a kid close by yelled, "Cool!"
Now head high and well filled with hope, I continued home. And, as for that stuff about Hope's feet, this Dalmatian was THE Hope, the leader of the team, and the star of the aforementioned commercial. Don't believe a word of it! His or her feet are no bigger than the spots on his or her back.
Albert H. Corliss
Commandante of the Free Calusa Airforce
Fort Myers Beach